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tell me dear,
have you ever fallen in love with a ghost?

trying to force yourself to feel was like
forcing a sundial off its axis,
shattering time was no easy feat

just like the moment you held his
glue-like affection at arms length,
and in a few moments alone
you saw a flicker in your eyes
that you'd never seen before

(there wasn't enough room
 for both fear and love)

so it was when you had reached
a crossroad so long ago
that you spared a glance back

and realised that the tape
you'd swung across
both your wrists
had torn along the way

(and you knew, that
 it had always
 belonged to the wind)
:music:Waterstrider - Twice (Little Dragon Cover)
    Dead C.A.T Bounce ft. Emily Underhill - Nothing To Say
    Feint - Atlas

I was sure about what I was thinking, not so sure about what's written here. There's a smidgen of truth in there, somewhere. Hidden so well I can barely tell what it is myself.

Was it a failure or success? Well, at least it's slightly different from the usual, I hope. :dummy:
I'm still not happy with my writing these days, it feels all jumbled, mumbled and stumbled through.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I personally loved this poem. I started reading and I couldn't stop until I reached the ending, and frankly speaking, I loved the ending as much as I loved this whole poem. I mean it. Its fluid, its well written, its heartfelt, its sincere... and its such a unique take on the title you've written. At the same time, the openness of this poem made me reminisce and ponder on what is a utopia and a dystopia... its a good concept :thumbsup: And well executed in my honest opinion. :clap: Well done!
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:iconentitaria:
Entitaria Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Goodness, thank you much for the lovely praise! I honestly can't tell you how much this comment alone cheered me up. :heart: it's lovely to hear you liked it so much! :love:
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:) Your a good writer who does deliver. At least among the poems that you've written, I haven't found a reason not to like them.

Stay blessed.
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:iconentitaria:
Entitaria Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's actually very encouraging to hear, and surprising to be honest, thank you very much, again~ :heart:

And of course, same to you~ v.v
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:) :hug: Anytime.

Oh, on a more lighter note, do you like tags? :D
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:iconentitaria:
Entitaria Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I assume you mean journal tags? They're fun to do, from time to time, although I've been on and off of dA for a bit now, uni work catching up with me and all. :P
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:) The very same.

I tried this one random journal tag last time, which was something like an "involved" sort of story telling. It isn't something in which a person has to respond back in any way, but instead they sit back and relax and watch themselves play their role in that story.

I can send you a link if you want...
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:iconentitaria:
Entitaria Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, that actually sounds interesting, and a little like something I've tried before actually, if I'm thinking along the same lines. :>

Sure! Although I make no promises about doing it myself. ^^; :P
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(1 Reply)
:iconmajikku7:
Majikku7 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Beautifully written. I don't think its jumbled at all. :)
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:iconentitaria:
Entitaria Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you~ :heart: I'm relieved to hear as much~ :>
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:iconleukippos:
Leukippos Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You should be more confident, this is beautifully written Clap 
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:iconentitaria:
Entitaria Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, so very much~ :love:
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:iconrovanna:
Rovanna Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014   Digital Artist
I like this one. And I think it does have a different feel to your usual stuff. This one seems more direct.
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:iconentitaria:
Entitaria Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy to hear you do! I think it felt different in terms of theme, but I thought it was vague as ever. I think the ones that end up being more direct, are the ones I write with someone in particular in mind. :meow:
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:iconkhaimin:
Khaimin Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I think it was a success. c:

I don't think it's very jumbled and mumbled; everything is, a bit, but that's because most poetry is kind of raw and comes straight from what someone is feeling or thinking. To me, the more cluttered up it is is the more personal it is; that doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing. But I honestly don't think your writing is stumbled or anything like that. Nothing to worry about. <3
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:iconentitaria:
Entitaria Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
So glad to hear it! :heart:

I suppose that's very true, it's just seeing the amazing way the words seem to flow in other people's work that makes me wonder if the same beautiful flow is in mine too~ In a different way of course, but there none the less, and thank you so much for these words, I can tell you how much it means to me~ :love:
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